7 Habits -- Moving Forward with a Passion

As I have studied the 7 Habits from “Moving Forward with a Passion” this week, being proactive and putting first things first really resonated with me:

Proactive: As I thought about the topic of being proactive, I remembered a talk given by David A. Bednar. He talks about acting in situations rather than being acted upon. I feel this can be synonymous with being proactive because you actively choose what your response will be in any situation rather than reacting blindly. In “Moving Forward with a Passion,” Jim Ritchie tells us that we must become self-starters, . . . and decision makers. It’s hard to lead from behind--maybe impossible. If you’re a reactive person . . . and spend your time hiding and watching people who are proactive, then you need to stop and start doing what they do. Take charge, take the lead and move forward.

Stephen R. Covey explains that it is not what happens that is important. It is our response to whatever happens that makes all the difference. He goes on to explain that being proactive doesn’t mean being pushy, aggressive or insensitive. Rather, proactivity means to control a situation from the inside out. Or in other words, to affect positive change, stop focusing on the immediate circumstances and instead consider your response to the conditions that exist. Do that and you have removed the power of anything external to affect you. I greatly appreciated this definition because sometimes I worry that when I am proactive, people will think I am being pushy. When my third son had leukemia at age 4, I found myself quickly thrown into the arena of being more proactive than I had been in my life. There were many times when I had to talk with the doctors and help them make a plan for his health and I was afraid I was coming across as an aggressive parent. However, being proactive proved beneficial for my as well as my son and the rest of our family because we had a plan and weren’t waiting to be told what was going to happen.

In being proactive, we are blessed to be able to make our own choices about how we are going to act. When my children were young, I often told them they were always free to make their own choices but they weren’t free to choose the consequences. Depending on what was chosen, the consequences were either welcomed or unwelcomed but they came depending on the choice because they were automatically tied to the choice.

I have experienced being proactive and reactive during times in my life and definitely enjoy the proactive times the most. These are the times that I feel the most peace and comfort because I have a plan and know how I am going to act/handle situations that come my way. Even when we don’t know how something is going to happen, we can already have in our minds how we are going to handle it.

First Things First: I appreciated Covey’s outline of four basic types of activities – 

    1) Important and Urgent

    2) Important and Non-Urgent

    3) Urgent but Not Important

    4) Not Urgent and Not Important

It is often a challenge for me to manage my time effectively because I classify everything as a #1 (important and urgent). I loved Covey’s advice that the heart of effective personal time management is to spend the maximum time possible doing important jobs in a non-urgent atmosphere that increases your efficiency. Wow! That really struck me and has helped me to look at my life even just this week and reprioritize things. Not everything is a #1 and as I have done this I have felt less stress and have been able to accomplish more than when I was viewing everything as needing to be done all at once.

Even though I have studied the 7 Habits of Highly Successful People in the past, this week was definitely an eye opener to me. I hope that I will remember to sit down and truly prioritize what is important in my life each week. Too many times I try to fit everything in that I have written on my huge list and just end up feeling overwhelmed and exhausted without spending time on those things that matter the most. I appreciated Richey's remarks that if we can't trust ourselves privately to be prepared and in control, how can we face the real world with confidence. As I work on both habits of being proactive and putting first things first, I will be able to be successful for myself as well as being able to help others.

What are you mastering?

As I have studied the concept of mastery this week, there have been so many things that have resonated with me. One thing in particular is the question, "How can I be a master of anything else if I can't even be a master of myself?" I have really pondered this question in regards to different areas in my life, particularly that of weight loss and money/financial management. These may seem like easy things to some but they are difficult at times for me. I can tell the difference in my life when I am in control of even just one of these aspects in my life because everything just goes better. When I am feeling confident, master, in both areas it is if my potential is unstoppable. It is crazy to me to think that something as simple as being in control of myself can have such a powerful effect on my entire life.

I greatly appreciated N. Eldon Tanner's statement about determining your course of moral standards and then having the willpower to move forward. He mentions that those who stay on the straight and narrow path towards their goals are the most successful. Many of us find ourselves on a detour at different times in our life and Tanner reminds us that detours are a longer path and can also be dangerous and detrimental. We may not always see these dangers ahead on the detour until it is too late. I loved his reminder that if you want to be successful or great, determine NOW to be great don't wait until  you're older. Once you have made this decision, have the courage and determination to discipline yourself, apply self-control, and self-mastery. Tanner also reminds us that Satan is continually at work and we must be "on the job" all the time to guard against evil. We must never relax or forget who we are and what we are trying to accomplish. No one is exempt from his cunning ways of tempting us to do or not do something that could change the course of our life. We can't afford to waver in any way!

I also appreciated the article "So You Want to be an Entrepreneur" as it talked about collecting knowledge and relationships throughout our journey. Use each position as a steppingstone rather than a stopping point. I feel this advice applies to life in general, not just business and/or entrepreneurship. I try to make connections everywhere I go and call them my circles. These connections may be brief or lifelong, but each one makes up a part of my circle that is invaluable to me. Always keep your ultimate goal(s) in mind as you are on your journey.

"Life should not be boundary less" really resonated with me this week. How many times do we feel like we have so much to do and we don't have time for it all? I have been feeling extremely overwhelmed lately and trying to balance family, school, work, church, etc. I have thought a lot about why I feel overwhelmed. I think it's because I have let my boundaries with some of the lesser important things widen too much until they almost don't exist. I am working diligently to stay off work email when I am home and pay attention to my family the way that brings me happiness and I have felt much more peaceful.

The final thing I want to mention this week is the talk by Jan Newman titled "Loyalty to God and Family." He talks about "not crunching things that shouldn't be crunched" in order to fit the other things into your day, week, month, year, life. Give the most to your family and God. Sometimes your job/career might need to be crunched a little for these two. Newman also shared advice that we should not ever be too busy to take a calling in the church. This is a big one for me because sometimes I feel as if I was "just a member" my life would be less stressful. There have been times in my life between callings (short periods of time :)) and it was often challenging to feel connected to people and to stay focused on my goals. I think sometimes being too busy for a calling is Satan's way of distracting us. I appreciated Newman's reminder that God knows where my heart is and will help me along my journey. All He asks of me is a willing heart and mind and He will help me to feel less overwhelmed and more peace in my days . . . and ultimately my life as I strive to become a master of myself whether that is in my weight, my finances, or simply shutting off social media/electronics.

A Hero's Journey

I really enjoyed watching the video "A Hero's Journey" this week. Although he was talking about being an entrepreneur, I think my "takeaways" can be applied to my life in general, not just to being an entrepreneur:

• You have a very special mission on this earth. A mission that will exceed your wildest dreams if you have the faith and the courage to find your calling.
• If you're worried about the wrong things, you're going to miss the opportunity of a lifetime. Don't look back and realize that you were worried about the wrong things and they don't even matter.
• Live every moment of your life like it matters because it does.
• What matters most isn't the prize at the end but how the HERO (you/me) is changed in the process.
• Learn how to:
• Learn
• Listen
• Ask questions
• Try not to be the smartest person in the room
• Live a life of meaning
• Questions to ask myself:
• Have I contributed something meaningful?
• Am I a good person?
• Who did I love and who loved me?
• Use your gifts to do something that brings you great joy.
• Know what your "will nots"/ethical guard rails are and do not ever cross those lines that you make for yourself
• Choose your fellow travelers well . . . you only take the journey once.
• If you choose the hero's journey, somewhere along the way you'll give up measuring yourself against others.
• If you don't choose a hero's journey, who will? If you don't choose it now, then when?

Some of the other things I appreciated this week came from James E. Faust's talk, "Perseverance." He explains the importance of persevering and says that "perseverance is demonstrated by those who keep going when the going gets tough, who don't give up even when others say, 'It can't be done.'" Sometimes it's hard to do hard things but I love his reminder that as we faithfully persevere in church callings (I think this can be applied to anything good as well), the Lord will open the way and guide us to other opportunities and blessings even beyond our dreams. Our Heavenly Father knows the end from the beginning and is trying His best to help us gain all the blessings we have been promised.

I love Paul Harvey's definition to the secret of success . . . "Getting up when I fall down." Wow! That seems simple enough. As I have thought about why it is sometimes so hard, I think it is because the adversary loves it when we "fall" and he wants us to think it's pointless to get up and try again. For me, it is very important to remember this, especially during the hard times.

One last thing that stuck out to me this week was that of STAYING THE COURSE. Remember what my goals are and keep making progress to reach them.

What Are Your Fears?

 I appreciated reflecting on the fears I have of beginning a business. I feel that when we acknowledge our fears about anything, we are most likely to be successful than if those fears are buried. These reflection questions really helped me as I thought about my own fears:

    1. If you pursue your calling with discipline, intentionality, and the help of fellow travelers, what are the chances that your worst case scenario will really happen?

        • With the help of others who have begun their own businesses, I think the venture will be successful. I think that my best mentors will be those people who have been successful at starting and running a business, no matter the arena it is in. They will be as valuable to me as what I learn in school as I pursue my degree.

    2. As you look at your list of fears, what themes emerge? What is at the core of what you really fear? Financial ruin? The judgment or disapproval of others? Physical harm? Endangering the ones you love? Embarrassment?

        • As I look at my fears, the central theme is fear of failing and how that will affect me financially. I think I would get over feeling sad and knowing that other people know that the business didn’t make it, however, it would be a long road financially to repay business loans that will most likely need to be taken. My fear of debt is real.

    3. What is the risk of taking no action – not following your calling? How do you plan to deal with fear when it pops up on your entrepreneurial journey?

        • Without pursuing the dreams I have and facing the fear of failing, that fear will always have power over me. Anytime I think of doing something new, I get anxious and worry about failing and how that will affect me financially, physically, and emotionally. Prayer definitely helps me to feel calm whenever I feel fear creeping into any aspect of my life.

As I read Elder Wirthlin's talk "Little Things are Important," I reflected on his advice to make sure that the little things in our personal lives are in order, like our health and mental well being. Sometimes I forget how important it is to take care of these small things until I get sick and then they are big things.

I also appreciate his question, "Do you take time to remember the simple things in relationships?" I am making more of an effort to not only smile, give compliments and encouragement, and be positive but also to recognize these efforts shown to me by others. Elder Wirthlin said we should do these things without hesitation.

Sharon Mays advice to use your path to make you stronger really resonated with me. As I look around the world today, so many people are trying to make excuses for the things they do rather than taking accountability and becoming stronger because of their backgrounds. I also appreciated her advice to believe and trust in yourself. Sometimes this is easier said than done but definitely something I am striving towards. Other advice that greatly had an impact on me is:

    - Either do it or stop talking about it

    - Make the world a better place

    - Find your dream and give it life

    - The only person who holds you back is you

I have reflected on each of these statements many times this week and have pondered the question, Where am I along this journey? Am I holding myself back? How many times do I talk about something but never do anything about it?

Integrity and Happiness

I greatly appreciated Elder Lynn G. Robbins talk "Making a Living and a Life." He shared a great reminder that wealth and possessions can create a fertile ground for Satan to tempt us with pride. I loved his analogy that Satan did not have much to tempt Adam and Eve with because there were no other people around for them to compete with. His words that working in the world to make a living was not only part of Heavenly Father's plan to help us survive but also to see how we will get along with others -- to see if we we will be honest in everything we do.

Elder Robbins' grades/levels of motivation for money were very helpful for me:

A-Grade/Level: Primary Motivation - Love of God & fellowmen; Secondary Motivation - Income and living for mankind, helping others

B-Grade/Level: Primary Motivation - Money; Secondary Motivation - Love of fellowmen

C-Grade/Level: Primary Motivation - Love of money; Secondary Motivation - Indifferent to clients, customers, and people in general

D-Grade/Level: Primary Motivation - Filthy Lucre $; Secondary Motivation - Harmful to clients, customers, and people

F-Grade/Level: Primary Motivation - Filthy Lucre; Secondary Motivation - Harmful to customers and society, destroys nations

It made me stop and think about myself. I definitely want to be an A-grade person. Where am I right now? No one is exempt from Satan's influence and I need to always be aware.

Sister Sheri Dew's talk "True Blue, Through and Through" stuck with me with the seven ways that will  help us become men and women of integrity:

1. Decide today, once and for all, that you will be worthy of trust.
2. Have faith that the Lord can and will  help you and then diligently seek His help.
3. Make covenants and keep them.
4. Stand up for what you believe.
5. Expect your integrity to be challenged.
6. Don't ever give up.
7. Covenant or renew your covenant with your Father and His Son to do what you came here to do.

From the video "The Formula and Happiness" from Launching Leaders, I took away the formula for success that truly resonated with me. The combination of J. Paul Getty's three steps and David B. Haight's three steps are definitely something that I want to remember my whole life as well as share with others:

1. Get up early
2. Work hard
3. Get your education
4. Find oil
5. Make your mark
6. Prepare to serve and give back